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Creepypasta by BloodyBlack18

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Submitted on
March 7, 2014
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CRACK-FIC KIND OF
Full Title
The Adventures of- Drunk!CreepyPasta x Reader- A night to remember
Pairings
Reader and a bunch of alcohol induced monsters
Starring
(Full name), Wicked, Stitchy, BEN, Jeff the Killer, Eyeless Jack, Masky & Hoodie, Ticci Toby Slender man, Splendor man, Laughing Jack, Smile.dog, and Human!Happy Appy
~Enjoy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was late at night, some where around 10 and 11:00, you were at your work, a bartender at a bar, cleaning up the glasses and counters. The bar was suppose to be shut by 8:00, but a large group of people stopped by to have a few drinks. And by people, I mean monsters, and by "have a few drinks" I mean, get totally wasted. This group of monsters are formally known as the CreepyPasta's. Your a good friend of theirs actually, which is why you didn't run out screaming bloody murder when they came. They have visited a few times after or before a kill, but they always make sure no one but you are in the building, due to the fact that they are wanted criminals and monsters. You've luckily got all the security camera's shut off every time one stops by, just for them. You were always the last one at the bar, cleaning up the messes the other employees didn't do, and left to shut and lock everything. This was one of the rare times the majority of the Creeps had all came at the same time. Most of them never got along, but tonight, was something to remember. Beer bottles scattered the floor and tables, hiccups leaving every ones mouths, laughs and drunken conversations arose from all over. Only a few lights were left on for your friends awhile all the others, including the ones outside, all the camera's in and outside the bar were off, courtesy of you, while you watched in amusement of these terrifying creatures act anything BUT terrifying.

Slender man was making terrible jokes, telling them to Splendor, who was currently pulling out endless amounts of roses from his pockets and setting them every where, not really paying attention to Slender and his jokes. Smile(yes, the dog) was trying to drink out of a bottle of beer, but was currently struggling to put some in his mouth, for he hand no hands. Happy Appy was talking to his beer bottle, stroking the side of it and holding it close like it was a child. He was saying something to it, but you were to far away to hear it between the others and a little bit of music you turned on just for them. Jeff kept yelling about declaring war on Russia...
"C'MON GUYS WE GOTTA STEAL...S-STEAL THE...THE STEEAAL FROM THE RUSSIANS! GOTTA GO TO WAAAAAAAAR!!!!" He put his hands in the air, doing some jazz hands motions before picking up his drink and taking a gulp, then starting yelling about how sleep is bad for you...
Wait what?

BEN was currently riding on Wicked's back like a horse, spinning his hat around like it was a rope.
"Faster Wicker basket, faster!" He hollered in a horrible southern accent.
"You fucking fat ass elf I'm trying!" Wicked scowled at him as she hauled BEN around the bar, BEN singing some made up song.

 Masky and Hoodie had an arm around each others shoulders, while each one held a beer bottle.
"You know what we should...should d-do..." Masky hiccupped.
"W-what?" Hoodie belched they both swayed slightly from side to side, trying to keep each other up, obviously drunk out of there wits.
"W-we should, should r-rob Burger K-king. I heard there burgers, are like...So, g-good..." Masky laughed.
"Nuh-uh, w-we should go rob da.. Dairy Queen... Yeah..." Hoodie nodded slowly, poking the spot where Masky's nose would be under the mask. Masky burped and clunk his beer bottle with Hoodie's, both then proceeding to take a drink, then belch at the same time, then laughing there asses off. Jeffu had joined BEN and Wicked on there journey around the bar, sitting behind BEN on Wicked's back.

'I wonder if that weight on her back hurts her wings.' You thought, seeing her wings bent down at an unusual angle. BEN had his hat on her head as he and Jeffu planned on attacking Germany. Wait, wasn't it Russia?

L.J was giving E.J a piggy back ride, singing the Pokémon theme song over and over again, but his own version.
"Eating them, is mah real quest! To get them is really hard! O-o-organs! Gotta eat 'em aallllll!" Well, he tried to sing but obviously missed half the song. L.J just skipped around, keeping a hold on E.J as he sung to his hearts content.

Ticci Toby was chasing Stitchy around the bar, but what ever they were fighting for or saying was unheard my any ones ears, since they seemed to use telepathy, for Stitchy was unable to talk. But by the facial expressions, she was quite a amused by whatever was going on, and Toby was either embarrassed or angry about the situation. As you finished the last glasses and cleaned up the mess your friends made, Wicked had crawled over to you and looked up with half lidded eye lids(she only has one eye), telling you she was tired and drunk. You kneeled down to her as BEN started to pet your hair. Wicked gave BEN a 'WTF' face, but you just laughed, looking at BEN who was still petting your hair.
"I'd like to take you home with me..." He giggled like a school girl. Jeffu's head popped up from behind BEN, since he was still on Wicked as well.
"Nu-uh, I'm taking [her/him] home!" He pointed a pale finger at himself, his smile stretching. BEN sent him a half-hearted glare.
"You moron! [She's/he's] obviously going to be with ME!" Wicked snapped, dropping to her side, causing BEN and Jeffu to crash to the ground., she attempted to get back up, but BEN dragged her down, starting a drunken wrestling match. Jeffu got up and easily crawled past the two dead killers battle and crawled over to you like a cat.
"Soo, how about we get outta here and come to my place? I have a really nice-" He was cut off as he was tackled by Wicked and BEN. "No, I'm taking [him/her] home!"
"Shut up Wicker basket [He's/she's] totally going with me!" They started a wrestling like cats all over the floor. You got up and watched for awhile, but turned around to almost have a head on collision with Stitchy. Luckily, she swerved and hid behind you, clutching your jacket with her pale bony fingers. The stitches around her mouth were gone, assuming she took them off to drink. Toby stopped in front of you glaring back at Stitchy.
"What's the problem?" You ask, catching both the killers attention. Toby twitched, huffing as he crossed his arms.
"Stitchy *twitch* took my *twitch* drink..." He said so childishly. You could smell the alcohol off his breath, even behind the mask covering his mouth couldn't hide it. You held in a laugh and Stitchy beside you let out a silent laugh, though only heard in your mind.
"I-Its not funny!*twitch*" He hiccuped.

"y-yes it is..." Stitchy telepathically replied. You walked off from them, leaving the two bickering killers. Slender and Splendor seemed to have left, because there was no trace of them around. You shrugged, wiping off the tables for like the 100th time today.
"H-hey (name...), can I have your...your k-kidneys?" You looked up seeing E.J, who was no longer riding L.J's back.
"Um, no...Sorry E.J..." You went back to wiping the table, listening to him whine for a while before he got bored an left. You walked up to Happy Appy, who was currently cradling the same bottle as before, humming lullabies to it. You gave him a "WTF, DA HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU' face, but he was too busy being a father to a bottle to notice. You shook your head and continued picking up the other forgotten bottles and trashing them.
Hoodie and Masky were having a burping contest, and laughing there asses off.

~Timeskip of Wicked, BEN, and Jeffu chasing reader across the screen~~~

It was 1:00 in the morning and the CreepyPasta's finally made it home. Well out of town, you weren't too sure if they made it to where ever they stay at with out passing out, but you were just glad you got the whole bar cleaned up and them out of the way. You got the lights turned off, camera's turned on, and were now home in bed, nice a snug in you blankets. A small smile pulled on your lips as you drifted off to sleep, officially calling this night, the best night of your life...















~~Extended ending~~

You yawned, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. Your bed felt a whole lot more heavier than when you fell asleep last night...
You rolled over to your side, facing the other side of the bed, just to come face to face with Jeffu, but that wasn't the scariest part. Sprawled across Jeffu was BEN, who was tangled with Wicked, who was sprawled over you and her lower half sandwiched between Jeffu and BEN.

"GO home guys, your drunk!" You screamed at them, startling them awake.

What a morning...
Dayum. I can totally do better and more funnier than this, I swear! I read a couple of Drunk!Creepypasta x Reader's today and I couldn't help but make my own. This was kinda rushed, I'm sorry. I wasn't really thinking when I put this together! GAH, Dat title tho... So freaking long!


Darn it this doesn't even make sense... do crackfics, even suppose to make sense anyways? No... I don't think so...
Yes, I did call Jeff, Jeffu a couple times, so what. Its just a nickname I gave him to help me sleep at night.

*DISCLAIMER*
BEN, Jeffu, Masky, Hoodie, Slender, Splendor, Toby, Happy Appy, Smile, Eyeless Jack, Laughing Jack, and any others belong to their rightful owners
Wicked, Stitchy, and Story belong to me
You, belong to Wicked, Jeffu, and/or BEN, or yourself if you disagree with having them being your owners.

I needed to post something more happier anyways, I have been putting up dark poems for awhile and I just need to brighten it up on mah page...
Add a Comment:
 
:iconsiciliart:
Siciliart Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2015  New member
Me drunk: ._. I hate my life
Rosalina drunk : i hate you all ;-;
Reply
:iconbluegraytiger:
BlueGrayTiger Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
war at russian omg lol XD
Reply
:iconpastnavybrat95:
pastnavybrat95 Featured By Owner Edited Nov 14, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
what do u do with drunken pasta!what do u do with drunken pasta!what do u do with drunken pasta early in the morning
E.J: give us kidneys
Masky: no cheesecake
Me: i love your stories and my favorite pasta is L.J
Reply
:icondragonshadow91:
dragonshadow91 Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2014
funny lol XD great drunken story
Reply
:iconbudderisveryspecial:
Budderisveryspecial Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2014
lol I love this pwease make more
Reply
:iconpatchwolf24:
Patchwolf24 Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
The first hoodie and masky remind me of family guy when Peter got kids drunk off of lemonade.
Reply
:iconbloodmoonfangz13:
bloodmoonFANGZ13 Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2014
haha awesome
Reply
:icondragon5032:
Dragon5032 Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2014
XD WOOOTTT ROBBING BURGER KING OR DAIRY QUEEN HECK YA >:3 FREE FOOOODD 
Reply
:iconcandiproductions:
CandiProductions Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
HELL YEAH!!!! :iconfornarniaplz:
Reply
:iconfrostsentry150:
FrostSentry150 Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Eyeless Jack's song XD oh my god I love this so much X'D Everyone is so messed up
Reply
:iconsesakixnatsu:
sesakixnatsu Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2014  Student Writer
SHIT THERE IS ANOTHER STITCHY?!?!? MY OC IS NAMED STITCHY!!!!
Reply
:iconcandiproductions:
CandiProductions Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
HOLY FUDGE NUGGETS!! REALLY!? MY OC IS CALLED STITCHY TOO! Wut? PewDiePie - Wat 
Reply
:icontigerlily0657:
TigerLily0657 Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Love the choice of emoticons you put there XD
Reply
:iconpiepiepinkype:
piepiepinkype Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I laughed harder than I should have at this. XD drunk! eyeless jack isn't too far from normal eyeless jack.

my favorite parts were

"C'MON GUYS WE GOTTA STEAL...S-STEAL THE...THE STEEAAL FROM THE RUSSIANS! GOTTA GO TO WAAAAAAAAR!!!!" He put his hands in the air, doing some jazz hands motions before picking up his drink and taking a gulp, then starting yelling about how sleep is bad for you...
Wait what?

and 

 Masky and Hoodie had an arm around each others shoulders, while each one held a beer bottle.
"You know what we should...should d-do..." Masky hiccuped.
"W-what?" Hoodie belched they both swayed slightly from side to side, trying to keep each other up, obviously drunk out of there wits.
"W-we should, should r-rob Burger K-king. I heard there burgers, are like...So, g-good..." Masky laughed.
"Nuh-uh, w-we should go rob da.. Dairy Queen... Yeah..."

and of course



L.J was giving E.J a piggy back ride, singing the Pokemon theme song over and over again, but his own version.
"Eating them, is mah real quest! To get them is really hard! O-o-organs! Gotta eat 'em aallllll!" Well, he tried to sing but obvious missed half the song. L.J just skipped around, keeping a hold on E.J as he sung to his hearts content.
Reply
:iconcandiproductions:
CandiProductions Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I love those parts too~ I love the one with Jeff mostly, I am so glad I came up with it xDDD
Reply
:iconpiepiepinkype:
piepiepinkype Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Drunk Jeff is funny XD
Reply
:iconbethdrown:
BETHDrown Featured By Owner May 26, 2014  Student Artist
Jeff wants Russia eh? Ehhhhh? Ehhhhhhhhh? Well Jeff I shall get Russia for now have him :iconbendrowned:
Reply
:iconcandiproductions:
CandiProductions Featured By Owner May 26, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Pfft, hahahahaha! xD
Reply
:iconbethdrown:
BETHDrown Featured By Owner May 26, 2014  Student Artist
Wish Ben good luck and a good day..or night? Eh who cares
Reply
:iconcandiproductions:
CandiProductions Featured By Owner May 26, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Alright, I'll do that xD
Reply
:iconbethdrown:
BETHDrown Featured By Owner May 27, 2014  Student Artist
How about some rupees?
Reply
:iconcandiproductions:
CandiProductions Featured By Owner May 27, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Hell yeah!
Reply
:iconbethdrown:
BETHDrown Featured By Owner May 27, 2014  Student Artist
*throws rupees in your face* :3 don't ask where I got them
Reply
:iconcandiproductions:
CandiProductions Featured By Owner May 27, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Did you steal them from Link? xD
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconcutiedacupcakz:
CutieDaCupcakz Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
HNNNNNN


Happy Appy...man he's got issues...lots of em...like stealing mah cheetos...i lovded those cheetos...


no but seriously, this was epic...can you plz make more?
Reply
:iconcandiproductions:
CandiProductions Featured By Owner May 1, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Yeah... Happy Appy is so weird when he's drunk xD

Of course! I'll make more, it sounds fun!
Reply
:iconxxhetalianatheartxx:
XxHetalianAtHeartxX Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2014
You must do more!!!!! I fricken love CREEPYPASTA!!!!!! My whole life is creepypasta
Reply
:iconcandiproductions:
CandiProductions Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I can totally do more!
Reply
:iconxxhetalianatheartxx:
XxHetalianAtHeartxX Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2014
YUSH!!!!! 
Reply
:iconchristianthecat:
Christianthecat Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2014  Student Artist
I had to say this when i saw 'russia'. "pfft.. they want to be one with russia!" XD
Reply
:iconcandiproductions:
CandiProductions Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
They totally do! xD
Reply
:iconsleisterrabbit:
Sleisterrabbit Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2014
Best story ever :3 xDD
Reply
:iconcandiproductions:
CandiProductions Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank chu~!
Reply
:iconpheonixgirl99:
PheonixGirl99 Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Ha ha!!! I ended up laughing so hard!!
Reply
:iconcandiproductions:
CandiProductions Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Aww, thank chu, I'm glad you enjoyed it~! ^.^
Reply
:iconkittykatluvur777:
kittykatluvur777 Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Awesome
Reply
:iconcandiproductions:
CandiProductions Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you!
Reply
:iconkittykatluvur777:
kittykatluvur777 Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Of course
Reply
:iconodddisease:
OddDisease Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Nice! xD
Reply
:iconcandiproductions:
CandiProductions Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank chu! ^.^
Reply
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